Havok

I’ve been down the road of misery several times before. The pain I feel and the hate I hold against myself gets unbearable from time to time. I’ve faced that path more times than the ones I can remember right now and I have to come clean at this. It’s not worthed

I’m worried the most right now, I’m always depressed but sometimes the gut comes through and kills the only neuron that’s still working. I forgot the ways of the ninja, whom I decided to be a long time ago. Ninja’s never lose their stance, don’t move by emotion and wait in the shadows as long as they have to, just to deliver a deadly blow. But right now, my life has come to a point that I can’t hold this stance any longer, for who I was, and for whom once created this stance, other matters need my immediate attention.

I don’t want to cross my sword with anyone anymore; I’m unrivaled under the sun. I’m lucky enough to be who I am, but who I am is not the one I want to be. I don’t want to live, I don’t want to die. But, if the luck that protects me decides not to show up, please, lend me your help to get through this mess. 

I’ve never felt lonelier than I do right now, I faced the death in the eyes of a dear friend who just passed away. She wanders around my mentor, waiting the right opportunity to take him away and the conditions I face don’t let me stay sharp. Please enlight my way and let me see further ahead. I promise I’ll do what it takes to not feel this way, but my only inspiration comes from the shadow of hate. 

-Written by no one, nowhere, circa ∞